Grammar Rules-The Dangling Modifier

14 Apr

Is that Your Participle Dangling or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

First off, let’s identify what a modifier or modifying phrase does. Take these two sentences-

The smelly guy ruined my lunch. 
That guy was singing way off key.

If you follow good grammar rules, a modifier or modifying phrase would describe the subject (noun or pronoun) and make its meaning more specific.

subject-guy modifier-smelly

subject-guy modifying phrase-singing way off key

And so, when a modifier, or a modifying phrase, doesn’t logically describe anything in the sentence, or it looks as if it’s describing something else, then my friend, your modifier is dangling and you have spit in the face of grammar rules.

And now, excuse me while I whip out a few dangling modifiers.

Entering the house, my wife was having sex with another guy.

Now at first glance this appears to be a tricky sexual maneuver. But in this sentence the modifying phrase, entering the house, is supposed to describe me, not my wife. So, following good grammar rules, one could get rid of the dangling modifier this way-

When I entered the house I saw my wife having sex with another guy.

(By the way, I took care of that guy’s dangling modifier).

Here’s another one-

Driving drunk, my friend always reprimands me.

So, it appears every time my friend gets behind the wheel drunk he’s giving me a piece of his mind.

The modifying phrase in this instance, driving drunk, seems to be describing my friend, but it should be describing me.

We have ourselves a dangling modifier!

The sentence should read-
My friend always reprimands me when I drive drunk.
(Not a very good friend I might add).

Thanks for checking out this grammar rules article on the dangling modifier.

Skateboard Tricks-How They Came To Be Named

7 Apr

Skateboard Tricks and How They Came To Be Named

As long as there have been skateboards there have been skateboard tricks. For skateboard enthusiasts it’s not enough to attach wheels to places God never intended them to be attached to, there must also be some acrobatics involved. Within the skateboard community tricks are not only named to identify the trick but the particular names are also useful to give to emergency medical personnel so that they can more quickly ascertain the location of broken bones after a mishap. When a trick goes awry time is of the essence, and if a downed pavement surfer is in need of attention, knowing their attempted maneuver will result in a quick prognosis.

The Rock and Roll, Nose Grind and Ollie skateboard tricks are just three of the maneuvers we will deal with in this article.

The Rock and Roll maneuver

The skateboarder starts this trick off on the edge of the deep end of an empty swimming pool. The asphalt astronaut launches off the edge of the pool and travels down the wall whereby he gains enough speed to make it up the opposite wall. When the fool, I mean skateboarder, reaches the other side they are to balance on the edge for just a moment and then head back down. It is at this moment in the trick where the Rock and Roll skateboard trick claims most of its victims

Read more Skateboard Tricks and How They Came To Be Named-

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/7859954/skateboard_tricks_and_how_they_came.html?cat=14

More of My Obama Birth Certificate Theories

6 Apr

OK, another one of my crackpot theories on where the original Obama birth certificate is.

As Ann Dunham is carrying her 2 day old infant son, Baraak, out of the hospital they run into Elvis Presley, who was on his way in because of a gyrating hip injury he suffered on the set of Blue Hawaii.  Ann, scrambling for a piece of paper to get an autograph, grabs the birth certificate.  After Elvis signs it Ann faints.     

Check out some of my other theories in The Top 7 Theories as To Where the Original Obama Birth Certificate Is

Even some Obama Birth Certificate Haiku

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/7925629/aqua_buddha_and_the_obama_birth_certificatefair.html?cat=60

Chris Matthews weighs in on the obama birth certificate controversy 

http://www.tigerdroppings.com/rant/p/25415617/Chris-Matthews-stumbles-into-the-Obama-birth-certificate-controversy.aspx

The arguments over the obama birth certificate are endless –

http://www.militarytimes.com/forum/showthread.php?1589029-Obama-will-have-to-produce-birth-certificate-to-run-again-in-Arizona/page11

Rand Paul and Aqua Buddha

2 Apr

Rand Paul’s Top Six Reasons to Worship Aqua Buddha

So, not only is Rand Paul a politician, he’s also a comedian. Rand got in a good zinger against Newt Gingrich at the Congressional Correspondents’ Dinner last Wednesday.  Since it appears to me that Newt Gingrich’s strength is not comedy I thought I would help him out a little.

Reason #6Christmas, and the pressure it puts on parents to rack up credit card debt, is nonexistent. On the celebration of Aqua Buddha’s day of birth, followers share a bowl of soup with loved ones. To further lessen the stress of this major holiday, followers in recent years have dropped the requirement that the soup be homemade.

Reason #5Read more..

The Obama Birth Certificate

31 Mar

The Top 7 Theories as to Where the Original Obama Birth Certificate Is

The Obama birth certificate is in the news again(has it ever been out of the news?). Donald Trump has spent the last month or so raising doubts about the obama birth certificate on several talk shows.

NYDailyNews link-http://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-03-24/news/29355366_1_donald-trump-president-obama-birth-certificate

It seems everybody has their theories as to where the Obama birth certificate is and here are the top seven I’ve heard that seem like they could be valid.

Theory Number 1
Before his 1962 Punch Bowl concert in the Hawaii Department of Health fellowship hall, a half-baked Don Ho, who had a gigantic Hawaiian blunt in his mouth, apparently tripped and fell while he was dressing in the records room. The fire that ensued destroyed the whole third floor.

Theory Number 2

Read more..

The Huffington Post compilation of the whole Obama birth certificate fiasco-http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/obama-birth-certificate

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